002. The Questioning
Finding direction in the unknown
I often find myself at crossroads, questioning whether the path I'm on is the right one. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by uncertainty and the pressure to have everything figured out, especially when approaching your 20s, when even miniature decisions seem to have major consequences. Some choices could open doors to incredible opportunities, while others might lead to regrets that linger. That, coupled with the fear of mediocrity and the fear of ordinary is daunting.
But over time, I've realized that for the very fact that I'm questioning my path or where I'm headed, means that I'm conscious enough—aware enough to care about where I'm going. That awareness is a sign that I'm not moving aimlessly, but rather trying to create a life that aligns with my desires and aspirations.
This introspection arising from being attuned with one's thoughts, feelings and aspirations is a catalyst for growth and development. This attunement can be attained through a variety of ways. For me, it starts with quiet moments, a pause to calm and slow down my mind, allowing myself to observe my thoughts and emotions without judgment. It's a reminder that I don't need to have everything figured out right now. Growth is an ongoing process.
A verse worth citing is John 13:7. It gives me a sense of unwavering faith and trust in God when I feel lost, and it reminds that He has great plans for me, and for you.
Jesus answered him, “You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later.”
Another way is reflection— looking back on experiences and emotions—whether from the day, week, month, or however long. Keeping the timeframe small makes it easier. Ultimately, the wheel is in your hands. Reflection could be as simple as thinking about how I responded to a certain situation, how I felt at a particular instance—whether amused, frustrated or detached. In the end, creating a space for self-discovery and improvement which helps in actively seeking a life that resonates with your true self. I call this a thaw of emotions.
And maybe that’s the point, self awareness doesn’t just help us navigate uncertainty, it also influences the choices we make. The more we reflect on who we are and what we truly want, the more intentional we become in our actions.
I once read that people who are overly confident in themselves often end up doing harmful things, not just to others, but to themselves as well. It’s a bummer I can’t recall the book or the author because I was so young at the time. Still, it’s surprising how that particular idea stuck with me. It really struck a chord, making me question the choices people make when engaging in harmful habits—whether it’s smoking, drinking, or other vices. Are they so confident in themselves that they believe they’ll always be in control? On the other hand, do those who lack confidence avoid such habits out of fear of addiction, or is it simply that they have a clearer sense of what they truly want? These are questions I sometimes catch myself asking and also try to answer them. What are your thoughts?
No matter how uncertain or unclear it may seem, is actually one of the most powerful signs of self-awareness. I truly believe it’s not a sign of doubt or weakness but really a reflection of the consciousness we have about our lives and the growth we all seek. That's where asserting goals and trying new things comes in. I guess I will always preach about trying new things. Think about it, if you do not step out your comfort zone and try new things, who are you, really? Reminds me of the the cliché interview question: "Tell me about yourself."
It's cliché but I think it's an eye-opening and thought provoking question. Without new experiences, your understanding of yourself is shaped by the limited world around you. You might never realise what excites you or what you are capable of.
So after this, take a moment to ask yourself, "who am I?, what do I like? What I am I capable of?"
Step into unique experiences that reveal new perspectives and parts of yourself you never knew existed. Here's to curiosity!
If you've reached this far, thank you for wandering with me!
